You Are The Sum Of The 5 People You Spend The Most Time With - Make It Count!
I heard Lewis Howes say on one of his podcasts “Just because you grew up with certain type of people doesn’t mean you have to grow up with the same type of people.” Are the people in your inner circle lifting you up or hindering your personal growth? I am not suggesting you start axing relationships but I am suggesting you add people in your life that INSPIRE you, MOTIVATE you and PUSH you.
Growing up I had people in my life, be it family or friendships, that seemed to want to “keep my in my place” and no matter what I achieved it wasn’t good enough or wasn’t that great of an achievement and I certainly wasn’t someone capable of accomplishing more than anyone else. That sort of feedback keeps you stuck, keeps you from even attempting to achieve greatness.
It took me a LONG time, possibly 42 years, to get to a place that I felt confident enough in myself to be vulnerable and realize that what others think of me is 1) none of my business and 2) does not define me.
Now in saying that I must also admit that it is a constant struggle, sometimes daily, to be vulnerable, to strive for personal growth and to go after those things that fuel my soul. I could not do any of this without my tribe who, whether they know it or not, force me to face those fears, give me courage and push me to be better.
Now you might be asking, how do I find my people???? Over the years and out of my own personal fear of being alone and the need to “belong” I’ve admittedly had a lot of “filler friends” - those friends that weren’t really there FOR me but they fed my need to be part of something. I found this to be far worse on my psyche than being alone and lonely was. These “filler friends” tend to bring you down, often through passive aggressive or back-handed comments so you don’t even REALIZE they’re doing it, don’t REALLY support you even though they may say they do, and they take up your time and energy.
An ideal friend is one that adds value to your life. It may seem simple now, but sometimes we keep people in our lives and don’t realize what value if any they are adding to us. If your friend is an ideal friend they are good for you, and help you stay healthy mentally, physically and spiritually. Typically an ideal friend is one you want to spend more time with. You want friends in your life that improve your health, your future and just make your life better. Ideal friends will help us with how we make life decisions and will influence how we live. Thinking about your friends now which category do they fit into? Had you thought about the quality of your friends before? Are there relationships that are toxic that you may need to distance yourself from? Have you distanced yourself from relationships that add value out of lack of time or convenience?
Your tribe is your CHOICE. If there are people you know that you’d like to develop a closer friendship with what’s stopping you from inviting them to lunch or coffee? Your time is valuable - choose wisely!
In Love, Health and Discipline,
Shannon
Comments